Red roses, candlelight dinners, sweet murmurings of ‘ I love you’. These dreamy ideas of romance, hyped in mushy films, glorified in glossy magazines, compel and convert the sanest, most pragmatic amongst us into believers of love of the commercial kind.

The most sensible among us give in to expressing love in floral terms, in sugary bites and in soft, mellow light that releases the invisible love hearts that cartoon characters readily radiate.
It is a heady combination, after all; imagine the fragrance of roses, the high sugar levels after devouring the chocolates and the dim lighting that gives everyone a luminous halo making them more appealing than they actually are. It is a combination that takes over the senses and releases ‘those’ hormones. Under the influence of this intoxicating cocktail of clichéd notions of romance, how can a girl not fall in love in a guy? Or the other way around.

No wonder card-makers and other smart people who have diagnosed this weakness in the heart are laughing all the way to the bank! No wonder, Rose Days and Éclair days were made and are still flourishing. Yes, it is that time of the year again. Valentine’s day is upon us, causing nervous anticipation and palpitations for some of us. In the urban world, it is hard to escape the messages leaping out enticing, inviting and tempting one to go ahead and indulge your loved one. With all this brainwashing, the most rational among us women cannot help getting hypnotized into starry-eyed expectations.

WILL HE OR WON’T HE? Is the question…

As Valentine’s Day nears, the question popping into our heads is WILL HE OR WONT HE…send me flowers, buy me chocolates, take me out to somewhere romantic? Will he get me the perfume I really want? That dress I saw in the shop window? At least something heart-shaped that spells out his love.

Well, what if he doesn’t bring you any of these lovey-dovey tokens of affection? What if he forgets that it’s Valentine Day? Or worse what if he doesn’t even know what the fuss is all about? What if this ‘unromantic’ man has no idea of what the world expects of him? What if he scores zero out of ten when it comes to bringing home a bouquet of flowers or the ‘right’ present. Or remembering days of the romantic kind. Sounds a little familiar?

Is this ‘unromantic’ man, the man you love?

Are you going to write off your man as a loser in the love stakes?

But, let’s take a closer look at him.

Ask yourself, when you are ill in bed, does he bring you a hot cup of tea or warm soup? Does he also hand you your medicine to pull yourself together? Does he nurse you back to health?

Ask yourself, when you are tired and worn out, is he the first one to run out and get a takeaway meal without you asking for it? Or better still, does he take over the kitchen and rustle up a comforting meal?

Ask yourself, has he has seen you in the worst possible physical state in the brightest of lights? On a bad hair day with greasy locks, grey strands? On a low day complete with zits, puffy eyes, and dark circles? On a rotten mood day when you are ready to explode? Has he looked at you completely unaffected and with affection?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, it’s time you redefined the meaning of romance… for yourself.

If you answered YES to any of these questions, you would know the difference between being IN LOVE and LOVING somebody.

To see someone with all their inadequacies and put up with their idiosyncrasies, still loving them for what they are, is ROMANCE isn’t it? Charming little gestures in everyday life can be romantic, can’t they?

And it applies to us ladies too doesn’t it?

You, yourself may not be the kind of girl who goes for mush, fluff, pink and all things girlie.

What if you your ideas of romance are yellow lilies, nibbles of cheese and lounging on the grass in the bright sun? What if perfume gives you a headache and you’d rather eat in bright cheerful lights where you can see what you are eating? Does that make you less romantic?

This Valentine’s Day when everyone is going overboard to buy heart shaped balloons, diamonds and planning a cozy, intimate weekend away…take a few minutes to really dwell on your ‘unromantic man’ and your life with him.

Valentines day is one day when your man will be put under the spotlight and his skills at expressing his love will be put to the test. You may give him hints to do what everyone does, you may force him to change himself and he may even reluctantly do what everyone is doing, just for you. But at heart you know that he doesn’t really believe in any of these ‘conventional’ displays of affection. He may not be able to verbally express himself, he may not afford the presents that the world expects him to splurge on, but his actions in everyday life may the proof that you really need of his love.

So, this Valentines Day, what do you do when you find yourself with an ‘unromantic’ man?

Well, this day may be the perfect day to look back at all the remaining 364 days of the year with your man. Why not look at every single thing that your man has done for you that went well beyond flowers and chocolates?

It may be the perfect day to scratch the surface and recognize ‘love’ for what it truly is.

This Valentines Day, don’t be disheartened when your ‘unromantic’ man is at his unromantic best. Cheer yourself with the reminders that while other people celebrate their love on just ONE day; you really revel in love every single day of the year. Love-that is known and felt by you. Romance that is spelt differently by you.

Why should media, business, marketing and showbiz dictate the terms of romance and love for you?

And if you really, desperately want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, but don’t want to depend on your ‘unromantic’ man…do it yourself!

If you crave the fancy chocolates, why not buy some yourself and surprise him? Why wait for Valentine’s Day to eat chocolates, anyway?

If you really want that dress, why not go shopping yourself, try it out and then buy it for yourself. At least that way you get exactly what you want and something that definitely fits you. If you really want a candlelit dinner, why not just light 2 candles at dinner after the children are in bed and order a nice home delivery? As for the heart shaped balloons, the lesser said the better. As everyone knows, in 2 days time, they will POP.


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